BAck home in Chicago

so I have moved back to Chicago for a “x” amount of time. Living at home is a change. I’ve been on my own in STL for months almost a year now and coming home is a change. I don’t like waiting especially for something so important like an email telling me if I am able to go back to University or not. 

I’m trying to keep myself busy by working with my dad, reconnecting with my old high school friends and trying to clean my house! Its the least i can do for my family to help out as much as possible for how much pain I have put them through. 

I’ve been home for three 5 days, and I’m bored. bored of waiting but hopeful for the future. My future. This is for the future and hoping future posts is full of happy news on my part. 


Re-applying go big or go home

first step is always the hardest. I’m trying to return to the University that let me go a year ago and applying as a transfer is the first step. This is about wanting it. This is not going to work out if I am forced to re-apply. It comes from within me. 

Things that I have realized while being away is mostly personal growth than anything. Being “away” does not really mean away from society, or taking a year off, which would be the worst thing I could have done but a break from University and at a Community college. I have learned a lot about myself: my work ethic, my mindset and my priorities as a full student. 

The second step is writing a personal statement. The university requires not only my grades from previous institutions but a personal taste of who the student is. This is a tough one because I do not necessarily trust my writing skills. How does one explain briefly that I am desperate, If I don’t get accepted here then I’m going home. Now that i think about it, it literally is GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Finals. A reflection of what my three years consisted off.

Finals. It’s a series of tests that college students, including myself, dread. Just weeks before summer break starts, we all scramble to the library with our pillows and blankets and hopefully come out with knowledge of an entire semester. During these countless all-nighters sleeping on desks, chugging three or four times the caffeine intake that would kill a small calf and reading until our eyes are bloodshot, we ask ourselves as to ‘WHY”?

Why am I putting myself through this “hell week”. Why did I not study during the semester? Why do I need to know this? Why am I in the library 13 hours of the day? Why is this the first time I am seeing this? Why am I so stressed?

Hell week is the week that results in procrastinating all semester and leave it all for the end. “hell week(s)” is a common term among complaining students, including myself. We compare the week(s) before our finals that we feel like we are in Hell. Last time I remembered, Hell was not located in the mid-west, or is it. Hell did not allow us to search go out all semester and skip class. Hell did not let us facebook creep our crushes or post selfies on instagram to our infinite number of creeper followers or snap chat our friends of random stuff. WE ourselves made it our Hell week. We created it, we caused it, we deserve it.

I created it, I caused it, I deserve it. 

This is a reflection on how my past three years was like at university. I was at the bottom of my career. The lowest point one could have survived on the scale of GPA’s while still going to university. I would like to say I am improving. I’ve got a fire underneath me that’s burning my ass off if I stay still for a while, figuratively speaking of course.  I chose to do what I did. I can’t blame anyone else but myself. And when I succeed I’ll praise myself.