feeling good for a couple weeks now. living at home. got a job. not stressing out about everything that i used to.
got this new app called “Lift”. It records daily habits that one can easily attain. the list of habits can vary from short term to long term. its pretty helpful to me personally. But Blogging/writing is one of my habits, hahaha. lets see how this goes. but overall, i feel good.
while walking home from the bars in north chicago i realized something. I was walking down the middle of the street at 2:30 in the morning. Nothing around me. No cars, No people and no reason to tell me to get on to the perfect sidewalk made on either edge of me. I grew up in a neighborhood that did not have any sidewalks so i literally grew up walking on the streets.
Back then I was walking to and from a friends house or to school and back home. Tonight I was walking back from a bar down middle of the street to home and with two perfectly constructed sidewalks on either side of me I decided to walk down the middle, on the street.
What does it mean to me at this particular time in my life i was thinking. Do these sidewalks signify the perfectly constructed lines I must walk to get to my designated goal or location? And while these “sidewalks” were constructed for that very purpose i choose to walk on the “street”?
By walking on the “street” I am still getting to my end location. My goal, My home. I could take the designated path to my goal but I can also take the “street”. But I am still accomplishing my goal in getting home. These are my 3:00 am thoughts.
Sorry if i haven’t blogged in a while but internet was very hard to come by while in Manila. So I wrote things down in my little journal type thing. first of all my hand writing is shit. Like, I can barely read all my notes that i somehow scribbled onto paper. Living in 2013 kids mostly type shit now a days but its cool.
I’m currently home back in st. louis living the summer out in my apartment before I return HOME HOME in Chicago to start a new chapter in my life. While i was abroad I got the news that I was not approved to return to University.
That’s primarily on my mind at the moment. I’m in the process of realizing and planning the next move in my life. Bare with me as, this (blog) is where i’ll be sharing my thoughts and problems. Here goes nothing as I share my new way of thinking during my time of defeat.
I’ll be reliving my 3 weeks in the philippines here and hopefully find some sort of inspiration to what i want to do next/soon in the future. These are my stories.
in the PI, watched fiba, way too tired to make an entry at the moment. will update tomorrow. need to go to bed… tbc..
oh man.
A couple days ago it was my birthday. I usually spend my birthdays at home. usually downtown or at a friends apartment before heading down to the best festival in america, Lollapalooza. This year was my first year in 8 years that i have not attended Lollapalooza.
IN the Philippines they are on every street!
roosters like on the farm but contained on the streets in a cage. So i guess they’re not as free as they think they are. I also do not see the point in having them around. Yes they crow/screach/cock-a-doodle-do all morning but some of them do that in the late afternoon. Are they not from this time zone? are they waking up people in a different part of the world? if they are squaking and crowing at 6 pm manila time, does that mean they’re trying to wake up people in E.S.T where it’s around 5:am? Does that mean they are american Roosters? maybe American and Filipino Roosters do not like each other and that’s why they are in cages. That would make a better campaign for cock fights that usually happen behind closed doors…or invisible door…or just on the street.
it’s way too early to be writing this. This entry is about Roosters, My theory of how and why they do what they do, the feud between American and Filipino Roosters and how they are annoying. Thank you.
This common expression that used to use held true. In chicago there is traffic, jay walkers, bicyclists and motorcyclists.
Riding the Jeepney yesterday while going to Robinson’s Mall, changed my outlook on public transportation in a city! Man oh man can they drive. I have witnessed many close calls yesterday. Jeepney hitting bikes, cars, children, other jeepneys and pedicabs. Jeepneys are big 12 person bumper cars that have no restrictions and see traffic lights as more suggestions than actual rules. but the actual definition of a jeepney, according to wikipedia, Jeepneys are the most popular means of public transportation in the Philippines. They are known for their crowded seating and flamboyant decorations, which have become a ubiquitous symbol of Philippine cultural art.
It really did remind me of walking in downtown chicago. Probably not the high building but the pace of the city. Manila is a happening place. So many people in a small area makes the place exciting. Even though the drive to my destination made my blood pressure rise a little bit, i was reminded on how friendly and laidback everyone is. ( Don’t know for sure, but that was my feeling at that point in time).
well, this was just a quick entry from my morning yesterday technically, its about 10 am here and have a full day a head. be back on soon but I have re evaluated my expression. and it’s
“If you can drive in Manila, you can drive anywhere in the world”
in Korea
At the moment i am not in my apartment in STL or in my basement in my home in Chicago. I am in the wonderful country that is the Philippines.
a little over a week ago I was in my bed sleeping the day away. five days ago i get the word that were going on a trip to the other side of the world! back to my home land. well, not MINE but my parents homeland. We have not been back to the Philippines since the early 90’s. I could barely remember anything at that age. two days ago as a family we jumped on a plane and headed out to Korea, a 13 hour flight, then from there, Manila airport.
The heat hits you like a Jeepney packed with 19 people in the back. the days will be sticky. the showers will be cold but i believe that this trip is the thing that will help me personally.
When your lost, the best thing to do head back to home. A familiar place to get your head right. Go backwards to go farther than ever. Start from the bottom and rebuild. Waiting at home was miserable, it reminded me of last summer when i was asked to leave university and did not tell my parents until a week before class started. This trip might just help me clear my head and give me sense of release from what may or may not happen in a month or two.
its day 2 now in the PI and i’m loving every second of it. definitely updating this to account with anything and everything.
I woke up today at 8:30 because I planned to get my bike tires inflated. After I would take a simple trip to the corner store for some air, which cost $1.00, I would take a ride to lake michigan. Its a straight shot down a busy street about 2 miles. That was the plan.
The wheels on my bike are too skinny or they’re different somehow because the pump at the store is not the same size as the nozel on the bike tires. I went back to bed.
There is always tomorrow. At least i tried to be productive. I am currently listening to Jay-z’s Magna Carta from the comfort of my couch.
so I have moved back to Chicago for a “x” amount of time. Living at home is a change. I’ve been on my own in STL for months almost a year now and coming home is a change. I don’t like waiting especially for something so important like an email telling me if I am able to go back to University or not.
I’m trying to keep myself busy by working with my dad, reconnecting with my old high school friends and trying to clean my house! Its the least i can do for my family to help out as much as possible for how much pain I have put them through.
I’ve been home for three 5 days, and I’m bored. bored of waiting but hopeful for the future. My future. This is for the future and hoping future posts is full of happy news on my part.
first step is always the hardest. I’m trying to return to the University that let me go a year ago and applying as a transfer is the first step. This is about wanting it. This is not going to work out if I am forced to re-apply. It comes from within me.
Things that I have realized while being away is mostly personal growth than anything. Being “away” does not really mean away from society, or taking a year off, which would be the worst thing I could have done but a break from University and at a Community college. I have learned a lot about myself: my work ethic, my mindset and my priorities as a full student.
The second step is writing a personal statement. The university requires not only my grades from previous institutions but a personal taste of who the student is. This is a tough one because I do not necessarily trust my writing skills. How does one explain briefly that I am desperate, If I don’t get accepted here then I’m going home. Now that i think about it, it literally is GO BIG OR GO HOME.
mricolcoblog 